CAMILLA
CAMILLA
is not a story book character, she is not a creature manufactured to suit the
issue, she is a real, live woman - - a nun, living in an old grey stone convent
which is situated on a beautiful mountain which overlooks the winding Moselle
River.
We met her one morning coming from the little chapel where she had been at
prayer. It was a clear morning with a high blue sky, the faint perfume of wild
mountain flowers and vegetation was in the air - - the year was at spring. As
she stepped out into the open she seemed to fit perfectly with the setting, as
if she were the personification of youth eternal. As she passed us she did not
shyly cast her eyes to the ground, but looked up at us with wide blue eyes - -
eyes full of lovely fearlessness, eyes full of depth and wonder; eyes of youth
with the wisdom of the ages shining through them. This woman had youth in her
grasp - - clear, firm, white skin with a transparency to it; lips red and full
of expression - - youth was so evident that it made itself felt.
"Not a minute over eighteen," said one of us. But Camilla was a
woman who would soon count her years sixty. Later in the day I talked with her,
and here is how she did it.
"At twenty I found myself practically an old woman, both in mind and
body. I was weary and life was more or less of a burden to me, and it was at
this time I became a nun. Soon after I began to study the 'Word' it came to me
that I had never really lived, that the sense of fleeting youth which I had was
nothing but a shadow - - a shadow of the real youth which was eternal and
everlasting. I soon realized that God could not grow old, not in the sense of
decay; that nature never grew old - - she renewed herself annually - - and
gradually I came to know that if God could not grow old, that Man - - His idea
and image and likeness - - could not age.
"In seeking the Kingdom of Heaven first, we are told that all things
shall be added to us. In seeking the Kingdom of Heaven we are seeking youth,
joy, harmony, happiness. The Kingdom is not made up of aged persons, it is
vibrant with youth eternal; and finally I began to realize that I was a part of
the Kingdom of Heaven and that in reality I was only seeking my true self.
"'Seek and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you; ask
and ye shall receive,' so I went forth seeking the real life. As God was
everywhere present I found Him expressed in all nature. I found Him expressed in
His universe - - and I was of His universe, in fact I was a part of it - - not
apart from it. Just like the lovely force which impelled the rose to cover her
vines with snowy white blossoms, I found that power growing and growing in me,
swelling up in me, until one day I felt the complete thrill - - the 'Divine
spark' - - which awakened in me and made me feel this rejuvenation taking place.
God is everywhere and He is life eternal and youth eternal. If He is eternal
youth and is everywhere I could literally bathe in youth. Not only that, but I
felt I was a part of the whole scheme and drew my life, my vitality, my youth,
from the same source which impelled the whole plan. Yonder on the mountain the
grey mist hovered and swayed over the crest, the sun plunged through it and then
the blue patch showed in the distance. The heather on the foothills was like a
flash of purple, the white hawthorn tree glistened in the warm sun, and I a part
of it all, vibrated with youth eternal."
"I learned to love it all - - love the whole plan like one loves the
members of his own household - - nothing was unlovely when viewed rightly and
everything yielded to the touch of it gentleness - - the touch of love. If it
rained I went about my duties with a feeling that everything was being purified
- - that everything was being filled full of purity - - and I too drank deeply
of purity. If the sun poured down upon me, I felt it making a halo about me of
pure gold - - gold that would endure. I felt it sifted joy all about me and
filled the throats of the birds with glorious notes, and so I sang and thrilled
for life. If the wind blew and raged about, I was happy yet in the thought that
things were being changed about. This was a readjustment; old dead leaves were
caught up and carried off - - dust was moved from secluded corners - -
readjustment was taking place - - and so I felt the readjustment enter me - -
the power to say, 'Not mine - - but thine be done.' In winter when the snow fell
I knew that everything in this universe was busily engaged working and studying,
unfolding and getting ready for greater growth.
And so I learned from the weather that after all it was but for a lesson
to us - - that we should rejoice regardless what the manifestation was. Further
I began to realize that not only was I seeking youth, happiness, harmony, but
that I was youth, happiness, harmony."
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